


Arrested By the Time-Police

by Shutterbutters



Category: Fate/Grand Order, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Comedy, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 12:40:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20706149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shutterbutters/pseuds/Shutterbutters
Summary: Gudako has had to commit more than a few... questionable deeds on her quest to save human history. She always knew that someday, those deeds would come back to bite her. She just wasn't expecting it to happen in class.





	Arrested By the Time-Police

“Ok class, just a reminder that our exam on To Kill A Mockingbird is already next week!”

Gudako smiled. She hadn’t even unwrapped the book from its plastic, there was no way in hell she could finish it by next week. Failing the English exam was all but inevitable. This was a burgeoning catastrophe, a true disaster in panhuman history just waiting to happen!

That is unless Chaldea was there to stop it!

Yes, it was an ordinary day in an ordinary time. Human history was saved, Gudako had gone back to high school, and the servants, well, they were around. It was a good few peaceful months of normal life, and Gudako greatly enjoyed living as an ordinary girl again.

So of course, it was also the perfect day to get arrested.

In a flash, SWAT officers had smashed in through the windows and piled in through the door, screeching at everyone to put their hands up and move away from the suspect. Gudako remained in her seat, staring ahead as her classmates and teacher were reduced from screaming civilians to confused, blubbering messes in all of five seconds.

Well. It was nice while it lasted.

Gudako rolled her eyes as the arresting officer made his way toward her table. A detective in a black coat with a family crest. Great. Magus Association.

“Oh come on, really? At school?” She protested.

The detective ignored her.

“Ritsuka Fujimaru,” he said, “You are under arrest.”

Her cowering teacher finally found the courage to speak. “What… What is the meaning of this?

The detective turned to her. “Ma’am, it may be hard to believe, but your class is harboring the United Nations’ most wanted, one of the most dangerous and well-protected criminals in our history. Our most sincere apologies, but we could only make a move when she was in school and unguarded.”

“Dangerous?” Gudako said. “At least read out the charges before you start ruining a high school girl’s reputation you mongrels!”

The detective whirled on her. He pulled out a surprising variety of objects from his coat. Five warrants, three wanted posters, several unsealed scrolls, and a stone tablet.

“1,750 BCE!” He declared. “Grand larceny of the wares of merchant Ea-Nasir!”

“That guy was an asshole and sold me low-grade copper! I was just introducing him to the concept of refunds!”

“12th century AD! Accused of obstruction of justice by the Sheriff of Nottingham!”

“The Sheriff was attempting to aid Prince John in usurping Richard’s throne and he’s just mad he got caught by Robin!”

“Multiple counts of possession of illegal firearms!”

“Gun registration didn’t exist in the Sengoku period!”

“Multiple counts of grand theft auto!”

“They were Nazi tanks and thus no criminal court would press those charges. In fact, you owe me some medals!”

“200 counts of Manslaughter!”

“They were zombies. They’re already dead!”

“POLITICAL ASSASSINATION!”

“JAVIER WAS LITERALLY THE FUCKING DEVIL AND I CAN PROVE IT!”

“Enough!” the detective said at last. “You can explain yourself further back in the Association headquarters. Unless you somehow have an attorney, which you DON’T, you’re going to-”

A cough.

A tall, bespectacled man in a suit was standing in the doorway.

“Good afternoon,” the man said, “I’m Miss Fujimaru’s lawyer. All further questions and statements toward her will have to go through me.”

The detective nearly popped a vein.

“Who… How… Who the fuck are you?”

“Oh! My apologies,” the man said, “Where are my manners? My name is Atticus Finch. I’m an attorney.”

Gudako glanced at her teacher, who was looking at her as if she had just sprouted seven new arms and a mouth. 

“What? Surely you didn’t expect me to read all that by next week?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is one of my old Tumblr posts that I never got around to uploading here.


End file.
